I have never wanted kids.
No, seriously. Never had the mommy urge, never felt my biological clock ticking like this *stamps feet*.
I am completely 100% fine with my decision. I knew this about myself early on in life and took steps to protect myself from what I like to call the oopsy baby. My family knows this about me, friends, etc. I think kids are cute, sometimes gooey, fun, and best when I can give them back to mommy and daddy. I can get excited for other people when they have them, and can even do a mean baby shower.
This doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want KIDS! *pant pant*
I am writing this and sharing this with all of you because I feel that letting things fester inside isn’t healthy at all. Getting things out in the open is better. And this issue is something that I am SURE many other men and women will understand. Maybe my words can help save people the heartache of what I am now going through.
My husband of 11 years is leaving me because he apparently lied to me out entire marriage about NOT wanting kids. He married me, hoping I’d change my mind. Ummm…no. So Monday he tells me he doesn’t want to be married to me anymore.
*insert shocked face*
It took till Tuesday for him to actually tel me why.
He can’t believe I won’t sacrifice and give him just one child.
*dramatic pause so all that sinks in*
I was literally so blown away by this that I turned and walked out of the room. My throat was locked up so tight I could barely breathe. Now I know what people mean by feeling like they have been sucker punched or kicked in the gut.
As I sat there on the bed, I literally felt any hope of reconciliation crumbling away. And truth be told, how can I even WANT to reconcile or try to work things out knowing he had lied to me for 10 years??!!??
Sorry folks, but there’s NO compromise when it comes to bringing a child into this world. This is a deal-breaker. He wants kids, I don’t. Period, end of story.
The thing that hurts worse??? I am getting bombarded with stuff from his family about trying to work it out, that Biblically speaking, this issue isn’t grounds for divorce (he emotionally cheated twice so excuse me that IS grounds for divorce *rolls eyes*), that wouldn’t I maybe just consider the idea of just one child??
I don’t want kids. Period. End of story. And there’s nothing wrong with that! Why do others insist on making me out to be some kind of freak??? Not every person on this planet needs or wants to have a damn kid! It’s great if that is what others want but it isn’t what I want. Never have.
And hubby KNEW this going into the marriage. This sort of deception and his allowing the resentment and anger build up over 11 years is unacceptable and totally unfair. At this stage, I seriously feel like I wasted the last 11 years of marriage (accomplished a lot but I could have done it alone). The whole marriage was based on his lie. He didn’t really mean his vows. He only meant them if he could somehow change my mind later on down the road.
If anyone out there is in this same situation please, don’t have kids to please someone else! Whether that be a spouse, parents, friends, etc. If you feel strongly about that, stick to your guns. I’d rather be single for the rest of my LIFE than bring an unwanted child into this world just to keep a husband.