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Why Can’t Humans Hibernate???

As Grand Junction prepares for another round of below zero temperatures, I have to wonder at the unfairness of it all.

I mean, other animals get to snooze away over the cold winter months. If we’re so high and mighty, why can’t we do that? Seems a little like we got the short end of the stick 😉

Picture this: You fly through the summer, basking in the sun (WEAR SUNSCREEN!!!), enjoying a family BBQ, family vacations. Just when you think you can’t stand the heat, the weather starts to turn just a little cooler. You notice a change in the air, though it’s barely perceptible, nothing you can really put your finger on, but you know change is coming. You breathe a little deeper and have that spring in your step that you had back in the spring. Before you know it, it’s jacket weather and the leaves are turning in their green for yellow, gold, red. if you are like me, you are looking forward to hunting season. As October gives way to November, you begin planning your Thanksgiving feast.

Now this is where my plan comes into play…

If you are like many people, you agonize over the Thanksgiving feast. You want to gorge on the turkey, potatoes, yams, pies. And yet you worry about all the calories you will consume and the work it will take to burn them so you don’t gain a hundred pounds before the next feast…Christmas dinner!

Now you may be really freaking out, going so far as to try to talk your family into doing tofu and broccoli instead of the traditional ham and scalloped potatoes and more pies. Then comes the new year and you promise never again to indulge over the holidays, which you quickly break the next year when you get a whiff of the delicious food wafting through the house.

I have a solution to this whole thing: humans should be able to hibernate through the winter just like the bears and prairie dogs.

*waits for the laughter and shocked gasps to die down*

Seriously, just think about it. You get the spring, summer, fall, and sleep right the hell through the winter. You will HAVE to eat as much as possible during Thanksgiving and Christmas so you will have the fat stores to survive the winter. You go to sleep in your darkened, warm room and wake up next spring all skinny since you burned off all that food you ate 😀

It’s a win:win!!!

Of course, we have to get past the not having the right metabolism to be able to survive hibernating and you wouldn’t be working during that time so no paycheck and for those that like to ski, this situation would totally suck and you would wake up to a big heating/water bill but still…hibernating!!!

I suppose we can always hope that in another million years we may evolve the ability to sleep through the winter months. Until then, I suppose all I can do is bundle up and brave the cold.

What about you? Would you choose to hibernate or do you love the cold weather???

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2 Comments on “Why Can’t Humans Hibernate???”

  1. rabiagale January 10, 2013 at 6:33 pm #

    I have often wished that the human children would hibernate all winter. 😀

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