Today should have been our ten year anniversary and instead we’ve been separated for a month (divorce will be final sometime in August). I’m glad it’s Memorial Day weekend. Going camping with the family so that will help keep me busy. We are under contract on our house and I was able to out in an offer for a cute little house for me and Buddy the cat. AND there is an interested party in our camper. Things were moving forward, looking up, and I was feeling a little more positive than I have in a month.
And then I get an email from my ex this morning that sort of put a kink in all that.
The subject line said “Thank You”. I figured he was thanking me for getting all the bank info together for the realtor. But no. Instead what I read was a huge long list of things he was thanking me for:
Thank you for 10 years of marriage.
Thank you for 13 years together.
Thank you for our friendship before we dated.
Thank you for cooking and planning healthy meals.
Thank you for cleaning.
Thank you for doing laundry.
Thank you for taking care of the cats.
Thank you for making all of our places into our homes.
Thank you for making me laugh.
Thank you for making me smile.
Thank you for all of the special times and memories.
Thank you for anything I may have forgotten.
He then went on to say how he’ll always care about me and how he is praying blessing for me blah blah blah.
That all sounds well and good, right? “Awwww, what a NICE ex husband to write those wonderful things about his ex wife!”
Except that there’s this huge colossal “BUT” at the end of that very nice list of things…”BUT if you only would have been X, Y, or Z, we’d still be together!”
Was that the spirit he wrote the email in? I don’t know and honestly don’t care. I just can’t fathom that someone would think that their ex would read something like that and…what? Be filled with gratitude and mushy feelings? Be appreciative? Write something back to them? *shakes head completely baffled* I felt like someone punched me in the gut and I didn’t even make it through the whole list before the “BUTs” started emerging: “BUT if you’d only not spend any of my money, BUT if you had only given in to my every whim, BUT if you would have changed your mind about not wanting kids, BUT if you never lost your temper, BUT if only your family didn’t offend me so…Seriously, that was the litany that ran through my mind.
My response to this email?
And yet despite all of that I still wasn’t good enough.
I hope you can find the perfect woman someday. Someone who is sweet and perfect and never loses her temper and never disagrees with you and never spends any money and has a perfect Godly family that is beyond reproach.
It’s obvious that you truly never loved me unconditionally and that I made you unhappy. Maybe now that you are finally free of me and my family you can be truly happy.
Childish? Maybe. But I think he should know how that email made me feel.
Because you know what I think? reading through that list, the woman he describes sounds good enough to me already.