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Need Vs Want


Need vs want

They might sound similar but are actually very different. I think both tend to get thrown around, especially when it comes to relationships, and it got me thinking of the fundamental differences between needs and wants. I think most people get the idea: needs are things you can’t live without and wants are things you wish to have, maybe crave even but you can live without them.

Although I wonder about Sherlock and Doctor Who… 😉

It’s common to hear people say that they need their significant others, can’t live without them, etc. I was guilty of this with several exes which of course isn’t true because here I am, single and doing just fine. So I obviously didn’t need them, did I?

So why do we say things like that? Is it to just make the other person feel special, important? Or do we really mean it, until a day comes along that rips pour worlds apart and we are forced to go on alone and realize that we can indeed live without that person?

And as people that seek relationships, do we crave someone to need us?

Or do we crave something deeper and something ultimately more special???

I am talking about want.

That craving that comes from deep within and consumes us until we can think of nothing else: the sound of a laugh, the touch of a hand, the sweetness of a sigh. To me, want is more powerful than need.

I am the kind of woman that will never need a man. I won’t die or end up out on the streets without a man in my life. I don’t need his money, his muscles, or even his…*ahem* well, you get my meaning 😉

But do I want a man? Do I lie awake at night and crave the sound of someone breathing next to me, arms to wrap around me in the middle of the night when I have one of my nightmares, to share everything with? Of course I do! I want that more than anything. But I don’t need it.

See the subtle difference?

I often wonder if this is one of the reasons I always seem to end up alone. Because I don’t truly need a man in the way that maybe women are supposed to need them. But is this what men really want? A woman who WOULD be out on the street or completely helpless should her man leave her? Isn’t is kind of the same thing for women? Do we really want a man to have to buy new clothes or eat take-out if we leave him because he can’t do his own laundry or can’t function in a grocery store?

For me, saying I want to be with someone really means something. I choose my friends very carefully. If you are someone I set my eyes on, rest assured you have something about you that is special and qualities that I find appealing and irresistible. You are someone I want to get to know, someone I want to invest time in. I am making a conscious choice to be with you and only you. Needing a man for money or help around the house means that I can settle for anyone with a penis 😉

Ladies…wouldn’t you rather WANT to be with someone rather than NEEDING to be with them?

Gentlemen…wouldn’t you rather WANT to be with someone rather than NEEDING to be with them?

I love hearing from you all!!!!

Comment below and I’ll pick someone to win a $10 Amazon gift card. And should you so choose, I have several awesome books out you might want to check out 😉 Sorry, just a little shameless promotion 😀

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5 Comments on “Need Vs Want”

  1. cpbialois July 21, 2014 at 8:00 pm #

    I agree, wanting something is the simplest and best way to go. At least for me. There’s just something about needing someone that screams at me to avoid thanks to my dad. The best way I can think of explaining it is one of our regular conversations.

    When I used to beg for a toy or something else, he used to say, “You really need this, boy?”

    “Yes! Please!”

    “Tell you what, want in one hand and sh*t in the other and see which one fills up first.”

    It’s something that helped me to decide what I needed and wanted in life. Basically, if I need it, it’s worth putting up with crap. I’m not sure if that makes any sense and answered your question or if I just rambled. LOL

    • drshaywest July 21, 2014 at 8:01 pm #

      I love your ramblings! 😀

      • cpbialois July 22, 2014 at 9:25 am #

        Cool! It’s good to have an audience. 🙂

  2. audrey July 21, 2014 at 8:21 pm #

    Wow… well said. It’s a good distinction to always keep in mind.

    The concept of needing someone is a false ideology that was reinforced heavily by others throughout my life. Haha it just made me skittish and hesitant to form relationships because there was no way I could live up to it on my side and I couldn’t imagine being fixated on someone so completely.

    • drshaywest July 21, 2014 at 8:23 pm #

      That’s kind of how I feel about it too. Put WAY too many expectations on people that they can never hope to live up to.

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