Okay, this may be a wee bit exaggerated but at the time it felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I really don’t like spiders. Like… really really REALLY don’t like spiders.
I’m in my shed and I grabbed the bowl I use for fresh water for the birdbath off the shelf. Cruised into the house and set it in the sink and that’s when I saw it…Saw it, jumped back, and actually screamed out loud. A friggin HUGE wolf spider was chilling out in the bottom of the bowl and it was at least 2-3 inches in diameter with it’s legs. If just the body was that damn big I probably would have died.
So there it is just staring me down with its eight beady eyes. I swear it stuck its fangs out at me but that could have been the hysteria. I turned on the water thinking to drown the enormous beast but much to my dismay it simply floated on the surface of the water.
And now of course I begin to see a rather serious dilemma. The bowl is made of metal and is slippery. The little guy got in there and obviously couldn’t find its way out. I shudder to think what would happen if spiders ever evolved wings..*shudder* Anyway, the water is now bringing the damn thing closer to the top of the bowl!
Not I’m totally freaking out. I shut off the water and I can hear the little bastard laughing and taunting me with its squeaky little spider voice. There was only one thing for me to do. I grabbed the bowl and ran for the back door, screaming at the damn cat to get the hell out of the way. I come busting through the screen door and fling the contents of the bowl as far as I can, hopping from one foot to the other.
I double checked the bowl to make sure the fiend wasn’t clinging to the side of the bowl just waiting for me to let my guard down. I’m pretty sure I flung the thing the equivalent of like eight light years or something so I feel like I’m pretty safe.
Unless wolf spiders have homing beacons and a strong sense of revenge…