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How I Almost Died After Seeing a Spider


Okay, this may be a wee bit exaggerated but at the time it felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I really don’t like spiders. Like… really really REALLY don’t like spiders.  

I’m in my shed and I grabbed the bowl I use for fresh water for the birdbath off the shelf. Cruised into the house and set it in the sink and that’s when I saw it…Saw it, jumped back, and actually screamed out loud. A friggin HUGE wolf spider was chilling out in the bottom of the bowl and it was at least 2-3 inches in diameter with it’s legs. If just the body was that damn big I probably would have died.

Taken from Wiki Commons. Photo taken by Patrick Edwin Moran

Taken from Wiki Commons. Photo taken by Patrick Edwin Moran

So there it is just staring me down with its eight beady eyes. I swear it stuck its fangs out at me but that could have been the hysteria. I turned on the water thinking to drown the enormous beast but much to my dismay it simply floated on the surface of the water. 

And now of course I begin to see a rather serious dilemma. The bowl is made of metal and is slippery. The little guy got in there and obviously couldn’t find its way out. I shudder to think what would happen if spiders ever evolved wings..*shudder* Anyway, the water is now bringing the damn thing closer to the top of the bowl!

Not I’m totally freaking out. I shut off the water and I can hear the little bastard laughing and taunting me with its squeaky little spider voice. There was only one thing for me to do. I grabbed the bowl and ran for the back door, screaming at the damn cat to get the hell out of the way. I come busting through the screen door and fling the contents of the bowl as far as I can, hopping from one foot to the other. 

I double checked the bowl to make sure the fiend wasn’t clinging to the side of the bowl just waiting for me to let my guard down. I’m pretty sure I flung the thing the equivalent of like eight light years or something so I feel like I’m pretty safe.

Unless wolf spiders have homing beacons and a strong sense of revenge…

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6 Comments on “How I Almost Died After Seeing a Spider”

  1. jamiebmusings August 18, 2014 at 12:33 pm #

    EEP!!!!!!

  2. lisafender August 18, 2014 at 12:57 pm #

    haha!! I can sooo relate!! remember I had my run-in with a black widow a couple of months ago! I freaked!! Just breathe, it’s all gone lol!

  3. Mishka Jenkins August 19, 2014 at 6:20 am #

    Ha! This made me chuckle, though seems a bit cruel when it was obviously not a great time for you 😀

    • drshaywest August 19, 2014 at 7:46 am #

      LOL Laughing makes it seem a lot less terrifying! And I admit that I laughed after launching that little dude across the yard. I sort of wonder what he thought about the whole encounter…

  4. Inion N. Mathair August 22, 2014 at 12:09 am #

    Hi Shay: So sorry we’ve been ghosts as of late. We’ve been locked away in our writing room the past two months finishing our book. But we’re almost done, so we’ll be able to stop these crazy hours as well as blogging again. Which is great, cuz we’ve missed our favorite haunts, like yours. Okay, now to the post. Laughing hysterically trying to get an image of you jumping, screaming, hopping, flinching, drowning, throwing….My Lord, girl that Spider put you through a freaking work out!! lol 😉 My brother is horrified by Spiders, like phobia freaky afraid so I’ve had to watch him my whole life, dance around them, cuss them & scream like a girl when confronted with one. I almost hate to tell you this, cuz you DO have a fear like him. But here goes. They jump, BIG TIME!!! And quite far depending on the species. So be real careful that when having another stand-off, not to get to close. You might faint! lol 😉 Great post & great job, Shay…you didn’t run, call for help or make kitty take care of it; you “woman’d up & took that spider out!!! 😉 xoxo

    • drshaywest August 22, 2014 at 12:48 pm #

      HAHAHA! Spiders that jump is bad. So glad they don’t fly!!!!! I would never leave the house 😀

      I hear ya about the busy thing 😛 Back into teaching for fall semester so finding it difficult to find time to write. And dealing with a case of tendonitis from all the writing i did this summer. So maybe it’s better that I’m not on the computer as much these days!

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