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It’s Okay to Tell Your Kids NO


Washington. Another school shooting.

Yet another messed up kid (I refuse to use his name) that can’t handle being told “no”. From his tweets, he couldn’t handle a girl not wanting to go out with him. Kind of sounds like why that other guy shot up a bunch of people in California not too long ago: couldn’t understand why all the ladies weren’t falling all over themselves to date him.

Sorry to break the news to you little punks, but you’re not the shit, you’re not all that, you’re not always a winner, and you’re not special. You’re just like everyone else. Everyone deals with rejection, losing a game, not being picked first for the team, failing at something you tried really hard to do, feeling inadequate in all areas of life, anxiety about the future, wanting to be accepted by your peers. We ALL worry about stuff like this and we probably always will. Life isn’t always going to go your way

Guess what???? Suck it up and deal with it!!! Shooting people and your own sorry, cowardly ass isn’t the answer. Moms and dads? Time to stop handing little Johnny everything he wants. Time to give some power back to our middle and high school teachers so they can tell these kids *NO* without mommy and daddy throwing a fit. Time for administrators to back up teachers when it comes to punishing kids who disrupt the classroom. Time to go back to winners and losers in games kids will learn it’s perfectly okay to lose a game; the sun will come up tomorrow and the world will keep turning and their lives will go on. Time to start teaching our boys that women are not objects to be possessed and that if ONE girl doesn’t want to go out with you, there are a hundred more that maybe would.

As a college professor, I should be able to give a student a failing grade (if they earned that grade) without fear of being gunned down someday as a result. As a woman, I should be able to decide who I will and will not date without fear that the guy will go berserk and come after me, or innocent people.

Trust me. Telling your kids NO often and early in their little lives won’t hurt them one bit. It won’t hurt their wee little fragile selves and they will learn to handle rejection, and failing, and a host of other things that are so crucial for a well-rounded adult. Don’t cripple them by teaching them that they are always right, that they are supremely awesome in every way, that they are precious little angels that can do no wrong. They will benefit more by losing and learning how to deal with those emotions in a healthy way, than pretending they will  never lose at anything ever in life.

Some of my best-learned life lessons came from falling far and fast and having to dig my way  back out again. It’s okay for kids to fail; they will learn more about themselves and life in general that they will never learn by being told they are always right or being allowed to run roughshod over their parents and teachers.

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One Comment on “It’s Okay to Tell Your Kids NO”

  1. cpbialois October 25, 2014 at 4:01 pm #

    AMEN! Wish I could like this more.

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