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Bodily Function I Wish I Could Get Rid Of


I bet you are all thinking I’m going to say passing gas, but that’s not it. Although it would be great to be able to eat broccoli and not bloat to the size of a dirigible. Not that there’s anyone around except the cats to hear when things get a little…*ahem* tooty…

Anyway, the bodily function I am referring to is the menstrual cycle. That monthly horror that leaves women bleeding and cranky and bloaty (not the same as the broccoli though). Not fun . At all. As a biology professor, I get the necessity, really I do. If the human species wants to propagate itself, the monthlies sort of have to happen. Better than the other option of budding. Now THAT would be way worse.

Modern medicine has made it possible for women to opt out of having most of their cycles in a year. If they take birth control pills, they can skip the placebo pills and not have a cycle that month. Makes it very nice, especially when there is a vacation involved. I’ve been doing this for years and it’s rather nice. I only have 3-4 cycles a year. Still, that’s three or four months with stuff coming out of a place that I’d really rather stuff not come out of. Not to mention the cost of the stuff to plug the leaking… But again, biology being what it is, the menstrual cycle is necessary to make chubby babies.

But what about those of us that don’t want kids and never will? Seems like we should be able to have some sort of shut off valve, or a kill switch or something.

What bodily function would you shut off or get rid of if you could?

3 Comments on “Bodily Function I Wish I Could Get Rid Of”

  1. nrlymrtl April 9, 2015 at 7:13 pm #

    Hiccups. I would really like to get rid of hiccups. They make everyone but the sufferer giggle.

    • drshaywest April 9, 2015 at 7:18 pm #

      Oooo, that’s a good one!! I get them so bad sometimes they actually hurt!

  2. janinedonoho April 12, 2015 at 2:27 pm #

    Let’s say goodbye to sleep and of course, still feel high energy.

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